You come to a city for the first time and you:
1. present yourself to the Prince.
2. present yourself to your clan elders.
3. present yourself to the nearest attractive person.
4. present yourself to the sheep.
5. present a stake to the heart of an important elder.

1.


A hunter corners you in an alley-way, so you:
1. fight for your life.
2. make effective use of disciplines to avoid confrontation.
3. attempt to seduce them if the gender is correct for you.
4. Introduce the hunter to the business end of your cheese-grater.
5. frenzy and kinda get renaissance on the hunter's ass.

5.

Lupines are out to kill you, specifically you. You resolve this by:
1. getting assistance from your fellow Camarilla members to eliminate 
them.
2. getting your fellow Camarilla members to eliminate them.
3. catching them with their pants down and taking it from there.
4. threatening them with Naire.
5. getting your pals/pack together and declaring all-out war on the 
lupines.

Killing them.

A bloodhunt is called on you and you decide to:
1. run.
2. mysteriously disappear until they call it off.
3. seduce Camarilla leaders to call it off.
4. siege the Prince's house...with catapults.
5. say "Big fucking deal" and throw a party with alot of fights in
celebration.

2.

"Are you the Prince?"
1. No.
2. Not yet.
3. Hmmm...(demon-lover smile) that all depends...
4. That geek? No. But I kinda know him. He's a bit angry with me right 
now
because I force-fed his ghouls starch and released a bengal tiger in 
his
favorite theatre box a few months ago.
5. I'm gonna kill him.

1.

Your preferred blood-type is:
1. human, of course.
2. ANYTHING will do...
3. a lover's.
4. (in overexaggeratedly snobbish voice) blood...make it something from 
my
"personal" stock.
5. that of an elder...sometimes lupine blood serves a purpose.

2.

The Sabbat tries to take over the city you're in and you:
1. fight them.
2. fall back just in case they win and retake the city as its hero if 
they
do.
3. hide sextoys and lovers.
4. pick up your mallet, dynamite, and a manhole cover. Defend your 
city.
5. help them.

1 if paid. 5 if paid.

Lupines are good for:
1. not much. While they make nice allies, they try to kill us. But the
Gangrel seem to like them.
2. being manipulated into...disposal of unwanted members of Kindred 
society.
3. I hear they're great in the sack.
4. their Ragabash. Some are cool enough that they decide to hang out 
with
us. They just hate it when we show up at their moots. Kinda tried to 
kill me
last time...
5. rugs.

...

During the last Tremere mind-meld, I:
1. didn't give a shit.
2. watched...or maybe even got involved.
3. got laid.
4. ran through the ceremony...screaming and naked.
5. joined the Tzimisce war-party and commenced assault.

1.

My sire:
1. sometimes helps me out.
2. involves me in his plots, but still gets tangled in mine.
3. was a great lover.
4. has this really cool trick. Wanna see? (holds up small box of ashes)
5. killed me, buried me, made me dig my way out of the grave, and 
clubbed me
with a shovel right when I finally got out

...

Do you carry weapons?
1. We all need protection, right?
2. Not usually...I tend to get others to do my dirty-work.
3. Hehe...wanna see? (wink)
4. Weapons? WeaPoNS?!? (puts a shotgun to asker's nose) I don't need no
steenking weapons!!!
5. Of course! What are you? An idiot

Guess.

"I pull down my pants and you ask me 'Can I blow this?'"
1. What the..? That's sick!
2. Filthy ingrate...I have no time for your stupid game.
3. Hmmmmm...hehe...sounds interesting.
4. "I say 'Yes if you want halitosis!'"
5. Shutup.

...

You're trapped in a room with a Malkavian. You would: 1. ignore them.
2. pretend to ignore them and listen carefully to what they say.
3. if the gender's right...(CENSORED)
4. talk. Have fun. Goof off. Invite more Malkavians over for a party.
5. rend them limb from limb if they annoying.

2.

Your philosophy on being a vampire is:
1. we are beasts struggling to retain humanity...may the beast never
succeed.
2. our new form has many advantages and disadvantages. Use them both.
3. many people have sexual fantasies about vampires...go with it!
4. This is COOL! So many people walking the thin line of sanity ...I'm 
ready
to shove them off! WOOHOO! And I can even know what's really going on!
Thankyou, ThighMaster!
5. we have become monsters. Why fight it?

2.

"When in doubt..."
1. go with what you know.
2. manipulate others to confirm the rightness of your decisions.
3. discuss it with somebody in bed.
4. SCREAM AND SHOUT! No...wait...listen to No Doubt? AAAARRRRGH!
5. kill somebody.

5.

You find a potion that will temporarily restore mortality, so you:
1. keep it around...might come in handy sometime.
2. sell it to the highest bidder.
3. use it to enhance the sexual experience.
4. try to trade it for a whoopie cushion, bloody soap, and some 
fireworks.
5. force the Prince to take it and kill him while he's weakened.

2.

Your most used phrase is something like:
1. "I see."
2. "Do not mettle in the affairs of others. You know not what you are
doing."
3. "Heya baby."
4. "NIKTOBAKADAKAYOMBIYO!"
5. "Die!"

...

Do you know GWAR?
1. No. I've been to a concert of theirs once, though. 2. Certainly not!
3. I can proudly say I've uhhh...been backstage a few times... 
hehehehe...
4. "I'm their fukkin' manager!"
5. I've been to enough of their concerts that I might as well.

What do these questions have to do with anything?

Midgets
1. Short people.
2. People with underactive thyroid glands.
3. Hmmmmm...hehehehe...
4. The next step for the human race! Yes, they lie in wait for us,
plottingthe eventual destruction of the planet! They serve the evil 
barbers!
5. Shutup, freak.

::Turns and leaves::

Do you fear final death?
1. We all do.
2. Of course! I will survive at all costs.
3. You bet! I love my life! I love my love life...
4. We die?
5. No.

::A wind blows though the empty spot::

The Justicar accuses you of breaking the Masquerade and you say:
1. "I'm sorry, but it must be a case of mistaken identity."
2. "Are you certain? Can you prove it beyond the shadow of a doubt?"
3. "Well...you don't HAVE to kill me. I can...serve you in 
certain...ways."
4. "HEY! The penguin was asking for it! Look at the way it was 
dressed!"
5. "Fuck you!"

::A cricket chirps::

The "authorites" (Police, FBI, etc...)) suspect you're a vampire and 
you:
1. isolate the individual reponsible for your discovery and "convince" 
them
they were wrong.
2. ghoul the leader of the authoritative group.
3. sleep with the leader of the authoritative group and/or their 
spouse.
4. lead them on a wild goose-chase and have them end up in the Prince's
house...
5. KILL'EM ALL!!!!

::Nothing::

etc. etc. etc.