˜ VIKING CHRISTMAS CAROL o

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the Hall
Not a creature was stirring, not warrior nor thrall.
And I in my armor, My greaves and my helm
Was drunker than anyone else in the Realm.

I staggered upstairs and fell into bed
While four quarts of mead were ablaze in my head.
Then up from below came the sounds of a brawl
So I grabbed up my axe and ran down to the Hall.

I missed that last step and crashed down in a heap
Thinking, "Why can't those low-lifes downstairs go to sleep!"
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But two brawny strangers, wielding a mallet and spear.

I said to myself, "We'll soon have them beat!"
Then I noticed ten warriors laid out at their feet.
I gave out a yell and leapt into the fray…
I'll always regret my poor choice of that day.

For the one laid his hammer to the side of my nose
And up, up, up to the rafters I rose.
Then came a lone frightened voice from the floor.
"Those are no normal warriors - that's Odin and Thor!"

Then they looked at eachother and they said "Battle's done.
Now they know who we are, it's no longer fun."
Then Thor raised his hammer, and his elbow he bent,
And with a loud crash, through the ceiling they went.

I crawled through the Hall and flung open the door,
Not really sure that I'd seen him before.
The snow bathed in starlight, the moon like a glede,
I saw them ride off on an eight-legged steed.

And I heard them exclaim 'ere they flew out of sight,

"TO HELA WITH CHRISTMAS, WE JUST LOVE A GOOD FIGHT"