*****I must apologize to Kevin, I told him I originally had made a Ras,
Forlumb, Sylph interview.  Well, it turned out to be too hard to finish and
the forlumb/sylph combo was much easier to write.

Name: Forlumb and Sylph

Age: (forlumb) Irrelevent, I'm immortal (sylph, blushing) I can't remember,
he, he, he.

Weight and Height: (forlumb) Immaterial, I have the mastery to change those
characteristics at a whim (sylph, wide eyed) Oooohh, you mean you could
become big an' fat!  I mean reeeeeaally chubby!!  When ever you want?
(forlumb) That's ludicrous, why would I want to change myself to such a
form? (sylph) It'd be funny!  Ha, ha, ha!! (forlumb, stating dryly) next
question please (sylph) No, wait, wait, wait!  I haven't given my answer
yet.  Hmmm, lets see...(flyes up higher than forlumb's head) taller than
you
and lighter too....Fatty!!  He, he, he, ha, ha...

Eyes: (sylph) Wait a minute, I can't remember.  Just let me have a look and
I'll tell you (promptly begins to cross her eyes, while forlumb gapes in
amazement) what do you think you can accomplish with such an idiotic task.
(sylph) quiet, this takes alot of concentration (forlumb) this is
ridiculous, my eyes are gray.  Now go to the next que- (sylph, swooping up
into forlumb's face) No they're not!  They're black!  (forlumb) I thought
you were trying to figure out your own eye color. (sylph) I did.  They're
green. (forlumb) So they are, but my eyes are gray. (sylph) Are not!
They're black as pitch, cross my heart and hope to die (forlumb, glaring
darkly) I wouldn't say that just about now (turning quickly to the
surveyer)
next question...now!

Favorite alcoholic drink: (forlumb) I've never had much use for it, really.
I prefer a clear head to wasting away in some toxic delirium. (sylph,
proudly) Berries! (forlumb) You mean an alcohol distilled from berries?
(sylph) What?  No.  Just berries. (forlumb) What do you mean just berries?
A
berry is not an alcohol!  It's not even a drink!  (sylph) Sure it is.  I
eat
them all the time. (forlumb) There, you just said that you eat them.  It
can't be a drink, then (sylph) Yes it is.  I remember just yesterday when I
ate one and it was so delicious.  I might have another today! (forlumb) And
one of these 'berries' was enough to make you drunk, not that I could tell
the difference... (sylph) What does drunk mean? (forlumb, just stares at
her
seemingly unable to comment)

Righty or lefty: (sylph) I like both my wings! (forlumb) He means hands.
(sylph) Oh, he, he, he.  I like both of them too. (forlumb) No!  He wants
to
know which one you use more! (sylph, thoughtful) Hmmm, well I use my wings
more of course. (forlumb) No, no, NO!!!  He wants to know about your hands,
which of your hands do you use more! (sylph, looking innocent) For what?
(forlumb) For anything!!!  You dim witted, lit-(calms himself and turns to
the surveyer) I have had equal use of both my hands, I am ambidextrous.
Now
you can deal with her, I'm going for some coffee. (sylph, sticking her
tongue out at forlumb's back) Hmph!  He doesn't know how to have fun.  I'm
a
lefty.

Weapon of choice: (sylph) silly, I've never killed anything in all of my
existence.  Besides, Ras wouldn't like it if I did. (forlumb returns with
his coffee, double strength, and sits down) So what's the next question?
(sylph, states simply) Where do you keep your stuffed Drails Kodon doll?
(forlumb, glares for a moment) That's not the question.  (sylph, shyly)
Awww, I can't fool you!  Ok, ok...what's you weapon of choice? (forlumb,
looks to the surveyer, who nods, then smiles broadly) Well, I've used many
'weapons' to accomplish my goals.  You could say that anything would be
dangerous in my hands, even something that you wouldn't normally expect-
(sylph, cuts in) Like a stuffed Drails Kodon doll!!  I can see you now,
holding onto the draw string and fliping it out like a whip pummeling many
an enemy as it says lovingly "I like to hurt everyone, but I only enjoy it
when it's you."  I bet- (forlumb cuts in) I don't have a Drails Kodon doll,
nor would I ever want one! (sylph) So, you don't think you could use it as
weapon, Mr. Anything-would-be-dangerous-in-my-hands? (forlumb) Why don't
you
come a little closer and find out? (sylph, pronouncing triumphantly) So!
You do have a Drails Kodon doll! (forlumb) Don't be ridiculous.  I have an
infinite amount of ways to dispose of you without using such a stupid,
moronic, infantile device! (sylph, looks dejected) That's not nice.  What
if
the doll heard you?  It'd start a lover's spat, and I'd hate to see you
more
depressed than you alre-(the coffee cup goes flying as forlumb leaps up
from
his seat...then a blue screen comes up stating "please wait, we are having
sprite difficulties.  The interview will return shortly")

What would you do if you could be G.M. for a day: (The interview has
returned.  Forlumb looks calm, just now beginning to sit down.  He is
smoothing his clothes and hair which are slightly dishelved.  A hypnotized
Mirim in a maid's uniform is cleaning up the broken coffee cup.  Sylph is
floating in the air laughing hysterically, uncontrollablly.  Forlumb
twitches as he glances at her then addresses the surveyer) I would
instantly
put an end to this nonsense of my family and all of it's assests being
destroyed.  I wou-(sylph laughs very loud here and forlumb has to speak
louder to be heard) I don't know why the GM has a wish for the demise of my
clan, but you can be sure that if I had his power, it would stop then and
there. (sylph laughs even louder before she can answer) I...ha, ha, ho, ho,
he, I would make everyone laugh forever! (forlumb lunges at sylph just as
another blue screen comes up...)

Person you would most like to meet: (again, the interview has returned.
This time sylph is sitting happily and quietly with a pile of unidentified
berries beside her.  Forlumb smiles as he addresses the surveyer)  There
should be no more outbursts.  The situation is well under control, I
apologize for it not being so sooner.  As for my answer...I would most like
to meet this GM I have heard so much about.  I've spent most of my life
challanging and besting those who thought themselves more powerful or more
intelligent than I.  I would offer this individual the same challange, I
have no doubt as to the victor (sylph, about to eat a berry) Huh? what was
the question?  Oh yeah!  I'd most like to meet Ras Marr!! (forlumb, sighs)
But you've traveled with him now for almost 300 years. (sylph) So?  I still
want to meet him. (forlumb) It is quite obvious that the point of this
question has slipped by your formidable understanding yet again. (takes a
deep breath) He wants to know who you would like to meet for the first
time.
You have already met Ras, so you can't use him as an answer. (sylph,
frowns)
But I thought it could be anybody. (forlumb, raising his tone a bit) It
can.
Anyone you haven't met yet.  (sylph, thinking hard) So...if I went back in
time...then I could meet Ras for the first time again (forlumb) That's
irrelevent.  You can't go back in time, and besides you would still have
already met him.  Ras can not be the answer. (sylph, pouting) Oh!
Then...anybody, but you! (pops a berry whole into her tiny mouth and with
puffed cheeks spits out the remains onto forlumb's nice suit.  There is
silence, followed by laughter.  Forlumb pulls out a handkerchief while
replying dryly) I can see why the GM killed you off.

Which would you rather be, novel or action figure: (sylph) Could I be one
of
those beauty dolls?  You know, like Barbie only about a billion times
cuter!
(forlumb) Can you count that high?  I'm impressed. (sylph, staring wide
eyed) So what would you be? (forlumb) nothing so immature as an action
figure, or a comic book.  I would be the driving force behind a griping
epic
(sylph) Huh?  You're supposed to be so smart, you didn't even pick one of
the choices they gave us.  Maybe I should repeat them for you... (forlumb)
An epic is a novel, you twit. (sylph) Says who?  Did the god of words and
thingys come down and tell you that? (forlumb) No.  There is no god of
words
and thin- (pause) I refuse to be drawn into another pointless argument.

Malfestus. Is it really the bestus?: (forlumb) Of course!  You think I
would
not praise my homeland?? (sylph begins to make vomiting noises from behind
forlumb) Do you have something to say, Sylph? (sylph)  Oh, nothing.  Some
of
the bestus morons I know come from Malfestus. (forlumb) I suppose that's
supposed to mean me?  Really Sylph, your insults are poorly executed.
(sylph) Oh...I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.  But don't worry, I'll
teach you how to be smarter and happier, like me! (forlumb, laughing for
the
first time) If you had the power to do that to me than I would have killed
you before the interview even started. (sylph, matter of factly) But look
at
all the fun we've been having together.  I even got you to play tag with me
when the cameras turned off before. (forlumb's about to say something, but
then stops and thinks) I've got it now, you want me to kill you.  That's
your plan.  You're goading me, right?  Well, It won't work. (sylph looks
confused)

Which was better, old game or new game: (Forlumb) This answer is too easy.
It should be obvious.  Although I was hunted in both games, it was the old
game where I had control and power.  In the new game I have been reduced to
a background character who seems helpless to do anything, but hide from his
enemies.  (sylph) I agree the old game was better (forlumb, rolling his
eyes) I shouldn't be surprised, but I'll say it anyway...you didn't exist
in
the old game.  You know that right? (sylph) What? Of course I existed.
Don't you remember the times when I swooped out of the sky to rain cute
little star shaped rabbits onto our enemies?  Or the time I took Ras into
one of the giant sea breams and gave him a big fat bag of donuts-(forlumb,
cutting in) Are you insane?  None of that ever happened, or is even
possible! (sylph just smiles)

Have you ever been in love: (sylph, blushing) All the time.  I love
everything and everyone.  Even Mr Loser over there (forlumb, unfazed) You
don't love anyone specific?  One person more than anyone else? (sylph) What
do you mean? (forlumb) Oh come now, it's obvious that you're infatuated
with
Ras.  Everyone knows it.  (sylph) Am not (forlumb, stares for a moment) As
you wish.  I have once thought myself to be in love, but have since ridded
myself of the dredded emotion.  It is nothing, but an Achilles' heel and I
have no wish to be made vulnerable in exchange for some pathetic comfort.
(sylph, looking sympathetic) Wow, it really hurt you when they took your
wife, didn't it? (forlumb doesn't answer)

Future Son/Daughters name: (forlumb) I do not plan to embrace another
lover,
much less have any more children.  The ones I have now are far more trouble
than I need. (sylph) Hmm, I guess I'd have to call them Twig and Stick.
(forlumb, doesn't say anything. Sylph looks disappointed) Awww, come on,
say
something.  Like I'm stupid or something. (forlumb) I will not.  I am done
with your games. (sylph) That's no fun.

What's under your bed: (forlumb) Who thought of these questions?  Did they
think I was some kind of child? (sylph) Come on, answer the question.
(forlumb) You answer the question.  There's nothing under my bed. (sylph)
Really?  How come you're so upset? (forlumb) I am not upset.  You're
imagining things. (sylph) I don't think so.  You have a deep fear of your
bed, I can tell (forlumb) You can tell nothing, you flying bag of hot air!
(sylph, wagging her finger at him) Tch, tch, tch.  There's alot of
hostility
there.  When was the last time you slept in your bed. (forlumb) That has no
bearing on anything.  I haven't been in the same dimension as my bed for
centuries! (sylph) Ah ha!  So you have been avoiding your bed.  (forlumb) I
have been avoiding nothing, I simply wished to go exploring...to find new
challanges...(sylph) that's what they all say.  Have you slept in any other
bed since you left? (forlumb) No. When you travel as I do you can't often
afford the luxury of a bed. (sylph) Really?  You said 'often', so you could
have slept in a bed if you wanted to, but didn't.  This must extend to your
sexually disturbed childhood...(begins to write notes down in a journel.
Forlumb takes one look at the tiny book and it bursts into flame. Sylph
sighs than states dryly) We have to work on this rage issue of yours...

Convoluted plot or hack and slash: (forlumb) Plot has always been my
forte'.
I never fail when it's used.  Hack and slash is a bit beneath me, really.
(sylph, pouting) I don't like these choices.  I want a romance! (forlumb,
smiling) You can't have a romance.  You have to pick one of these two
choices. (sylph) It's not fair.  I get one stupid gaming night to make
everybody fall in love with eachother and then I get turned into the second
rate sidekick of an NPC who's going insane just before I get killed off.  I
want a romance or I'm going on strike!! (forlumb, leans back in his chair
and looks content) You can leave anytime you want.  As you are currently
dead I doubt you will be missed.

Best feeling in the world: (sylph is currently crying in her chair.
Forlumb
ignores her, and smiles) Knowing that I have completely and totally
desimated an enemy (shrugs and motions to sylph) in any way that the
situation demands.  Your turn. (sylph) I don't feel like answering right
now...(forlumb) Oh, that's too bad...next question. (sylph, wiping her
eyes)
Wait!!  I won't get skipped.  Not on the question I most wanted to answer.
(takes a deep breath) Making others happy. (forlumb, rolls his eyes) That's
very sweet...next question, please, now.

Worst feeling in the world: (sylph) I don't know...(forlumb) I thought you
might get stuck on this one.  I'm willing to offer my services in helping
you find out the answer. (sylph) Deffinitely not!  If I had to answer right
now...(forlumb) Which you do...(sylph, glaring at forlumb) I would say
that...it would deffinitely have to be...I mean (she seems to be struggling
with something, than bursts out laughing at nothing in particular.  Forlumb
just stares at her gritting his teeth and answers) Having to listen to that
laugh for any length of time...at all!

Say one nice thing about an NPC who has had an effect on your life:
(Forlumb) There's no need to answer this question I have never had any need
for anyone, but myself (sylph, panting from her recent laughing attack)
That's a lie!  What about when Darria saved you from the Greater Daemons
when you were captured and tortured for almost 20 years? (forlumb) Her help
was not needed. (sylph) What about when Adric freed you from the prison of
those three godlings that wanted you dead? (forlumb, holding his ground)
He's not an NPC! (sylph) Doesn't matter.  What about when you brought Ras
back from the dead and you specifically told him 'I don't know what my
world
would be like without my counterpart'? (forlumb) I don't remember saying
that! (sylph, looking very sad) And what about me?  Haven't I had an impact
in your life? (forlumb, stating dryly) Yes.  A profound enough one to know
that I want you out of it now. (sylph, pouting) How can you say that, wubby
dubby? (forlumb, just behind him a sign appears reading 'reaching critical
mass') And who...(shaking and red faced)...made an impact on your life,
Sylph? (sylph, laughing) Why that'd have to be my berries, they're really
delicious you know. (forlumb, teeth grinding) A berry is not a person!
(sylph, puts the berries behind her protectively) How cruel!  Sure they
are!
You don't talk to your wife,the Drails Kodon doll, like that do you?  I
feel
sorry for him (forlumb then proceeds to scream in a raging, howling,
exploding, inferno of anger and power that consumes the studio.
Unfortunately for him Sylph survives and he gets the bill for damages...the
end)