WARNING!:  If there are any of you who are on this list who do not
enjoy all this 'lets move enthusiasticly to the second part' stuff and
are getting annoyed by it ... just let me know and I'll leave you alone.
For  those of you foolish to read on, you're getting what you deserve.
 
  <Scene opens up within the world of Jaystorm ... WELL DUH!! ... camera
pansup.  And up.  AND UP!  Through white clouds and pearly gates. Past those
winged fellows and their harp music.  The sound of the harps fades to
the sounds of trumpets, drums, and the other instruments of a stage band.
Camera pans in to a stage area where the audience is made up entirely of people
with halos, and on stage a large curtain remains down.  Off to the side
is a bearded Esper (yes with a halo) with a microphone
 
  Wolfe Murdoc: "And now live ... kinda ... from beautifull... heaven.
It's the Dead Tonight show! With your host as allways <pause because of
course he won't ever let me do a show. I mean really, five hundred years of
this and I have to play second bananna every darn night. I could host this
show better you know I really could. And another thing ..."    <from behind
the curtain an armored foot lashes out and thwacks Wolfe in the shin
  "Yeeeooooww!  Uhh ... right,  Heeeeeeeerrrrrrr's Tarren!"
<Band starts playing again as the warrior-turned-deceased-entertainer
parts the curtains and greets the audience. Applause fades. Quickly
Tarren Base: "All right lets hear it for Adric and the Dead Tonight Show Band!"
 <Cheers as the camera swings over to where Adric Waterhouse is waving
his wand (which of course shoots a fireball cause this is D&D still kinda)  directing the band
  Tarren: "With me as allways is Mr. Wolfe Murdoc."
  <Makes gesture at Wolfe, audience cheers
  Wolfe: "Yes now!"
  Tarren: "And I am as allways Tarren Base, your host for the Dead Tonight
  Show.  Now for those of you who are new here.  And as we like to call you
  'The recently deceased' (he is then cut of by adric hitting the drums)No
  that wasn't a joke Adric!  I'll let you know when I'm making the jokes!
  Ahem ... where was I? Oh yeah, this is the show where we interview dead
  player characters.  And believe me, five centuries of the same people
every night can get just a little stale. However recently something that
people are refering to as 'The New Campain' has begun. So fortunatly we've been
  getting some new guests ... fortunatly for us that is!" <Slight chuckle
from  audience. He waits a moment, then scowls and looks over at Adric "You
were supposed to hit the drums just now." <Adric does so "No not now, then!
  (sigh) Anyway we've got a really big show for you tonight. With several
new dead P.C.s  and I'm told, a mystery guest." <an 'Oooohh' from the
audience "So are any of you at all familiar with this whole 'New campain' thing?
  Anyone?  What about you Wolfe, you at all familiar with it?"
  Wolfe: "I've heard some things."
  Tarren: "Well you know, I don't think I like it."
  Wolfe: "Really. Why's that?"
  Tarren: "Maybe I'm just old fasioned. But remember when we used to save
the world? We'd laugh in the face of adversity ... and I mean that
literally. But the hero's today, well they run into a little personal trauma and
they sit around and whine and brood about the lonliness of their tortured
souls.  And I gotta ask are they playin 'Jaystorm' or 'Vampire The Masquarade'
<drum beats  I just miss the days when hero's wore Wolfe's clothing, Cheetas
were fair (on the side of the stage Rish smacks her forehead), and less was
  Marr." <Drum beats and a series of collective groans can be heard from
the audience
  Wolfe: "Hope that wasn't your 'A' material there buddy."
  Adric: "Dead crowd tonight Tarren."
  Tarren: "Dead crowd every night guys." <drum beats again. more groans.
  Tarren swings imaginary sword ... I wonder if anyone'll get the reference
  Tarren: "We'll be back right after this."
 
 
  station i.d. and some comercials ... you can't escape them even in
heaven
 
 
  <opens again. Tarren is at his desk, tapping a pencil to the music.
Wolfe is on the couch.  Adric is still with the band. The Gods are in their heaven.
  All's right with the world.
  Tarren: "All right lets get this show going now shall we.  My first guest
  tonight..."
  Adric:"Hey!"
  Tarren: "Yes Adric, what is it?"
  Adric: <points to his halo "This means we're dead."
  Tarren: <face down on his desk "Every night. He says that EVERY night!
  We've been doing this friggin show for FIVE HUNDRED YEARS!"
  Wolfe: "You are correct sir."
  Tarren: "And you! You keep repeating those four or five catch phrases
  throughout the whole show."
  Wolfe: "Yes now."
  Tarren: "AAAAUUUUGGGHHH!!!!!"
  A voice from off stage: "Uhm. May I come out now?"
  Tarren: "Oh sure, why not. Your intro has been blown to the-other-place
  though.  Anyway, ladies and gentlemen please give a warm welcome to
recently deceased player character ... Terra."
  <applause from audience as a pretty young-looking woman with a large
pair of leather wings waves and sits down on the couch
  Tarren: "Well first off" <points at wings "what happened, did they run
out of the standard variety when they let you in here, or is this some kind
of rebelious fassion statement."
  Terra: <good naturedly "No no I was just born that way. My father was a
  dragon you see."
  Tarren: "Ahh I see. <sitting back down Sorry, when I hear the word
dragon ... I have this little reflex action, I usually go for my sword.  So
anyway,  growing up must have been interesting.  I'm sure asking daddy for a
piggy back ride was an adventure all in itself."
  Terra: "Well I never really new my father."
  Tarren: "Well ... that killed the momentum, I thought for a breif moment
  that we would have a funny show here. So tell us a little about your
work. You know, where you fit in in the adventuring party and what you feel
you're best known for."
  Terra: "Well, I was a cleric of Venna..."
  Wolfe: "Of Venna, really. She's an old friend of the show."
  <camera pans to the 'special reserved' section of the audience where
Venna smiles and waves
  Tarren: "Sorry ... doing that makes us feel important. Please continue."
  Terra: <unfazed "Well I guess I'm best known not for my role as a
healer,  or for my refusal to use weapons  <looks of horror cross the faces of
both  Wolfe and Tarren at that comment, but rather for my bitter sweet
romance with my dear Main."
  Tarren: "Well I think we have a clip, so lets let those not familiar
with you some of you best moments."
  <room darkens and a screen comes down. footage of the preistess training
  with an esper martial artist show her being whacked around and flung
though the air several times, usually landing in embarasing positions with loud
  "OOPHS!"   The screen then raises and the room lights up again
  Terra: <Wide eyed"What ..."
  Tarren: <his face burried in his hands"My technical director must be
fired. I'd kill him but he's allready dead."
  Adric: "better move to the next guest quick."
  Tarren: "Right. well you're in for a special treat here.  In keeping
with the semi holy theme that we seem to have tonight, my next guest is a
paladin of Marduk... er, sorry I keep doing that. I mean Vorex of course.  I'm
also  told that he's something of an idiot, so Wolfe I may need you to
translate  if he starts speaking in secret idiot talk."
  Wolfe: "Why sure, as a matter of ... HEY!"
  Tarren: "Without further ado, please welcome Durma."
  <applause as huge armored man takes a seat
  Tarren: "Well Durma, welcome to the show."
  Durma: "Thanks." <says no more
  Tarren: "Ahem. Well then ... says here that you've played your hand as a
  military tactician."
  Durma: "What's that mean?"
  Tarren: "You were a general."
  Durma: "Yes all must fear the great dark helm! I am brilliant!"
  Tarren: <distressed"Oh gods ... another Wolfe."
  <Durma amuses himself playing with some kind of straw he had in his
pocket
  Tarren: "So, Durma ... anything to tell us, anything at all."
  Durma: "Hmmm. No can't really think of anything."
  Tarren: <sourly "Now THAT I believe."
  Durma: "Oh, hey I saved your descendent a little while back."
  Adric: "Hey yeah. Wasn't HE scheduled to come in a little while back
  Tarren?"
  Tarren: "Yeah I think so, but there was some kind of travel problem. Hey
... get me the shows booking agent!"
  <camera shot changes to where Ba'clore is chatting on the cell phone and
  scribbling in the big book of life.  He turns, looks at the camera
"Sorry,  we're gonna have to reschedule him for a little later o.k.?"  Turns his
  attention back to the phone, "Yes we have you down for today sir. No I'm
  sorry this is the only time we can do this" He then crosses off a name
in the book and a loud "Hyrurkk!" is heard from the other end of the phone
  Tarren: <shudder "Never mess with our booking agent, I allways says."
  Wolfe: "yes now."
  Adric: "Are you sure that Gray kid is really related to you?"
  Tarren: "I know what you mean. What a rotten temper, and no sense of
humor at all. You can bet he didn't get that from my side of the family."
  Wolfe: <points behind Tarren "HEY-OOO!"
  <Tarren turns around to see Altea standing there with an almost
Fett-sized hammer raised high
  Tarren: "aw crap"
  <camera shows Adric and Wolfe wincing as there is a loud thump
  Durma: "Hey is it true you were once a demi-god?"
  <Tarren picking himself up off the floor, re-adjusts his halo
  Tarren: "Funny, I'm dead, I shouldn't ah felt that. I'm sorry what? Oh
yes, you could say that."
  Durma: "Great! I've got to see if this works. DARK REED!"<he then blows
out the contents of the straw onto the battered host
  Tarren: "Pa-tooie. That's it!" <brushes the salt off "SECURITY! Rish,
get  this nut outta here!"
  Durma: "Whaaa ..." <as a huge cheeta-woman-thing tackles him and tosses
him off of the stage
  Tarren: "Allright! Now I just want to end this debacle! Lets bring out
the last guest and go back to our respective clouds ... of course I'm
allready gonna be sleeping on my cloud couch!  So who's up now the mystery
guest?"
  Wolfe: "No!"
  Tarren: "What do you mean no? Is there a mystery guest or not?"
  Wolfe: "Oh. Yeah he's here. I just wanted to dissagree with you for
once."
  <BASH! Wolfe achieves maximum airborne velocity over the audiences
heads
  Tarren:"Bring out the mystery guest allready!"
  <Loud and imposing music begin to play as the lights dim and a spotlight
  focuses in on .... FORLUM!
  Tarren: "ACK! YOU!  What are you doing on my show! You're not a P.C.
You're not even DEAD!"
  Forlum:"Technically, you are correct. However I am a central plot figure
and one could say that I am one of the GM's player characters. Also while I
am not truly dead, this is my spirit and I am separated from my body."
  Adric: "Judges?"
  <All the gods huddle and discuss this, then answer "We'll allow it."
  Tarren: "CRAP!"
  Forlum: "I thought I'd stop by to make things a little more interesting
  around here."
  Adric: "Can I have your autograph?" <holds up a sign that says 'Yeay
War!'
  Forlum: "No. And what are you doing here anyway. As Malcom you're not
dead."
  Tarren: "Ohh. Look at mr. omnipotent now.  That's the clone Adric. Or
have you forgotten, you created him."
  Forlum:"Ah yes."
  Adric: "He created me? DADDY!" <The clone leaps out from behind his drum
set and rushes forward to embrace Forlum. Frolum quickly waves his hand and
a blade barrier cuts Adric into a billion slivers
  Tarren: "Oh not again. Makeup!"
  <sylph appears smacking two powder puffs together untill there is a huge
  cloud of makeup. when it settles Adric is whole again
  Tarren: "Now stop that. What do you want anyway."
  Forlum: "Well I thought that we could do a week long tribute to me. My
  success my greatness. My..."
  Tarren: "In your dreams pal. We're arch-enemies remember. And besides,
my sources tell me <turns back to where the angel-formerly-known-as-Mirn-Jade
  is whispering Forlums current file that you're on the run."
  Forlum: "What! Don't be absurd..."
  Tarren: "Roll the clip!"
  <Screen comes down again to a scene in Kolackra where Forlum faces off
  against Sorrell and Krac Vir.  A huge 'CENSORED' bar quickly cover
  everything   Krac Vir:"Yeah give him a right! AND A LEFT AND ANOTHER
RIGHT!"
  Forlum: "OUCH no oww stop that oww   Hey I need that arm to make overly
  dramatic gestures   ow ow ow!"
  Tarren: "Brutal."
  Forlum: "grumble"
  <audience gasps as from stage right a hooded statue-like creature
appears  "You cannot escape even here Forlum"
  Forlum: <huge sweat drop appearing "Well then. It was lovely seeing you
all again. But I really must be going now ... you know world altering
schemes to enact and all that." <he teleports away
  Tarren: "Nice work there Mr. uhhh..."
  <Grabbing the Sorrell like mask and ripping it off
  Gunthar Meridan: "It's me I'm back again!"
  <cheers from the audience as Gunthar, Tarren, Adric, Wolfe, and Rish
line up and take a bow. They then start a kick line to the tune of 'together
again' and in the backround, Arlin Guire falls off the catwalk into the stage.
  scene fades out. finally!